


I get lonely when I think about your smile

by AmazingKisia



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Dan is a medic, Letters, M/M, Military
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2019-02-14 19:51:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 2,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13014954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmazingKisia/pseuds/AmazingKisia
Summary: Dan left for a half of the year. He left his home and UK, but more importantly he left Phil. Luckily Phil found a way to communicate with his best friend.--Letters send by Dan and Phil while Dan is away on his mission as a medic.





	1. You're a pain even being so far away

**Author's Note:**

> Here is my first phan series! Chapters are short, but I'm going to upload them everyday, until we reach Christmas!  
> Also, I invite you to my tumblr which is [HERE](http://amazingkisia.tumblr.com) . You can ask me anything there and I might post some updates about my fics :) 
> 
> Thank you for all kudos under my previous works, they really motivate me to write <3  
> Enjoy!

I

5th October

Hi Dan,

I was so surprised and happy when they told me I can write to you. I’ve no idea when you will get this one, but I hope you won’t get it like a few days before you’ll be coming back. Half of the year is not that bad, right? Though it feels so weird without you coming here every evening. I’ll be so much better than you in Mario Kart, I’m already kicking some butts online. You will have quite a challenge when you’re back. I hope it’s okay that I write about such random stuff… I bet it’s okay, it’s a letter to you, after all. It’s never been normal between us, Danny, and I guess that’s why I value this friendship so much. :) I guess you’d ask how am I, if this was a normal message. I’m good, don’t worry. Sure I was a wreckage when you left, it was really hard, but I know you wanted it so badly and I support you, you know that. Studies are boing so far, but I’m getting into them very slowly. I found a few nice people in my group and I’m hanging out with them sometimes, but don’t worry, no one is going to take your place, like ever.

I’m not really sure if you’re able to respond to that, but if you are please do. I need to know you’re okay and basically know how are you. :) Is the food as bad as they told at the meetings? I both appreciate and regret going to those with you. Like,  at least I know more less what may be happening to you but… It’s also the bad thing I know that. I’m sorry that I probably annoy you with it and you have much more important stuff to do, but you know…I’m terrified, Dan. But! I believe in you and I’m sure you will do your best there and help a lot of people. Just, remember about me, okay? Not sure you still have it, but I wear my bracelet every day. I sometimes forget to take it off at night and my wrist is full of patterns in the morning. You’re a pain even being so far away!

I really hope I will get your reply like…anytime.

Miss you, man.

Phil


	2. In the middle of fucking nowhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan gets the letter and answers it immediately.

II

26th October

Phil!

Oh God, you really did it! You have no idea how much your letter made my day. I’m actually still smiling like an idiot, you dork. According to the date I got this in three weeks, that’s not that bad, regarding the circumstances. I’m like in the middle of fucking nowhere. No wonder they don’t have an Internet connection here. If they did, I’d make sure to download Mario Kart and somehow make it possible to play, just to kick your ass in these online plays. Challenge for me? Oh please, Lester, don’t make a fool out of yourself. I’d still win with you even if I was here for a few years, which I definitely won’t do, as the food IS a crap here. I wish for some marshmallows. Hey, maybe you can send me some? Now well, that was random. :)

I’m glad you made it through that tough time, Phil, but I knew you would make it. You’re so much stronger than me. I didn’t have time to be a wreckage that much, but it was hard. They started training like right when we got here, that was crazy. I was prepared for hard stuff, but nah, the first weeks I just thought about going home and watching some TV series with you. Now it’s much better, though. I feel so useful and don’t worry I’m safely stationed in our base, all the guys are transported here from the front. I’m not taking part in anything dangerous.  

Great to hear about your groupmates! At least you’ll have someone to annoy you till I’m back. Tell me everything that annoys you about them and I’ll keep my fingers crossed for them to keep doing that.

Miss you too, dork.

Dan

PS Of course I’m wearing my bracelet. How could I not? :)


	3. I guess I’m the annoying one

III

19th November

Dan!

I can’t believe you got the letter and I’m incredibly happy for your reply! The guy in the office hates me, cause I went there almost every day asking if there was something from you. Now he has my number and he will send me a message whenever your reply comes. Not sure if he wanted to be nice or just didn’t want me to bother him that much ever again.

Don’t be so sure, Howell, I’m getting better and better every single day. Prepare to be a loser the next time we will play. About the marshmallows, you don’t even want to imagine the face of this officer, when I asked him if I could send you any food. Good thing I didn’t mention it was supposed to be marshmallows. I’ll keep trying though, so don’t lose your hope!

You have no idea how happy I am to hear that you’re far away from all of this and safe. That was the thing I was the most scared about! I hope it will stay that way till the end of your mission. I’m happy you’re saving people. Hope you can save as many as possible, Danny.

Do you really want to read about my groupmates annoying me? I guess… So, starting with my closest one, PJ, he is kind of similar to us, likes the same stuff etc. but sometimes he acts too weird even for me, can you even imagine that? Then comes Louise, she is very nice and clever and I really don’t know what annoys me about her. If I had to choose that would be her boyfriend, that she talks about all the time, but then I talk about you as much (or even more) so I guess I’m the annoying one. They are my best ones, but there is also Chris, who is also super cool and he’s PJ’s best friend. I don’t like it when he goes back to his emo phrase sometimes. And I guess that’s all. At least for now. I’ll keep you updated :) Maybe you can tell me something about your new…friends? Team, maybe?

Hope someone is annoying you too.

Miss you,

Phil


	4. Merry Christmas

IV

4th December

Hi Phil,

I haven’t got your reply yet but I figured that if I send this now you will get it before Christmas, so… Merry Christmas, Philly. I hope you will eat a lot and gain weight + get a lot of presents. I actually asked your mom to keep the one from me so I hope you will like it. :)  Also it will be so weird to spend New Year’s without you, but I hope it’s just a one-time thing.

We’re having a small Christmas dinner here as well. I didn’t expect it, to be honest. I just hope there will be no fights during Christmas. I sometimes write letters to the officers about lost soldiers and I don’t want any of that on that time. Nah, sorry for being depressing, it’s just this place. It’s slowly driving me crazy. Sometimes all I think of is my home, your home and our evenings. Can’t wait to come back to the last one especially.

Again, Merry Christmas, Phil and have much fun on New Year’s. Promise that.. to this paper, I dare you!

Miss you a lot,

Dan.

V 

6th December

Danny!

Merry Christmas! Look I actually managed to fit a present into the envelope. See how smart your best friend is? Take a closer look at that photo, do you see what I’m holding?! Yeah, we’re going to SEE MUSE DAN! I mean, both of the tickets are yours, but I’d literally come and slap you if you decided to take someone else! I’m so excited! It’s two months after you’ll be back so I think the timing is perfect :)

I also wish you Happy New Year :) I’m spending New Year’s with PJ and Chris, which is cool, but I’m sure it won’t be even comparable to our parties. Hope you will have something organized as well!

Merry Christmas, Danny, and a Happy New Year~

Miss you!

Phil


	5. I cannot let this happen

VI

12th December

Phil,

Be careful with the officer, you dork. If he hates you or something he can stop handing the letters, you do know that, and these are actually the ones that keep me healthy here. Like honestly, I knew you were a lot to me, but now it just went on a totally different level. I think about you almost all the time, as cheesy as it sounds.

I’m happy there is someone to annoy you! I don’t really have much friends here. The closest guy is the other medic, who works with me at our station. We call him Jack and sometimes he’s so loud that I want to rip his tongue off. He can still heal people without it, right?

I don’t have good news for you, though. I thought about not telling you at first but I knew you’d be mad at me later so here it comes… The head medic were shot a few days ago (his family will get the condolences on Christmas – brilliant) and they want to train me more and send me to the field. I know I promised you I won’t agree to that but there are people dying Phil. I cannot let this happen and I will obey that order, I’m sorry Phil.

I fucking miss you so much, can’t wait to see you again

Dan.


	6. It’s now or never

VII

2nd January

Dan,

I love your present sooooooo much! It’s literally my favorite one and it’s already hanging above my bed. I can’t believe that we both thought about MUSE, but ,after all, that’s the thing that connected us at first.

I ate so much on Christmas that I actually thought I would blow up, but luckily it didn’t happen. Also I have no idea how it is possible but I didn’t gain any weight. I’m magical I guess, or I burned all these calories on PJ’s party. There were just the three of us, but we had much fun and danced a lot (shame you didn’t get to see my sexy moves, Danny).

Hope you’re doing okay!

Miss you a lot

Phil

VIII

 

3rd January

Phil,

I got your Christmas letter. Made me so happy I literally cried. Thank you for the best present in the world and for being the best person I could ever have in my life.

I’m leaving the station tomorrow so I probably won’t be able to write so frequently. Sorry about that. But before that… You know I have too much thoughts inside my head here and I can’t deny that most of them are about you, Phil. I realized how important you are and how you’re enough for me to be absolutely happy.

As I’m now thinking of it, it’s now or never, so Phil, when I come back, would you go on a date with me?

Miss you

Dan


	7. You need to come back to me

IX

28th January

Dan

I honestly don’t know what to think about it. Of course I respect your decision and don’t worry, I’m not angry at you for breaking that promise- I know you did the right thing and that’s what you’re there for, but I’m so scared, Dan. I know it’ll sound stupid but be careful out there. My thoughts are with you all the time, like literally, I can’t focus on anything, so I totally understand it when you sound so cheesy. I want to have you back here, with me, so that I could know you’re safe. I also thought that maybe, of course if you wanted to, we could move in together when you’re back? I guess we are both too old to live with our parents and we spend almost all time together anyway, so why not? :) Let me know what you think of it.

I wish you were here

Phil

 X

28th February

Danny

Sorry I didn’t replied to your previous letter but the officer literally hates me cause I keep asking about you. It’s been a month already… and it’s almost two months you’re at the front. I’m so scared Dan but you know what’s keeping me up? Our date. I’d love to go on one with you, as soon as you’re back. I even thought about asking you out myself once you’re here, but you were faster. :)

I’m thinking about you, about us, more than ever Dan. That’s why you need to come back to me, you know that, right?

Think of the place you will take me to, Danny.

Miss you

Phil


	8. All thanks to you

XI

4th March

Phil…

I’m so sorry that I made you worry. I’m okay. I really am now.

The front was a giant mess. It’s impossible to describe, but I’d never want you to see that yourself. I don’t want to go back there ever again. I already told them that, so don’t worry, Phil. I’m staying here, save till I go home. Till I see you again and take you on a date.

I really can’t believe that you agreed. I’m so happy, Phil. The first time in three long months I’m happy, all thanks to you.

Now don’t panic, cause it’s all okay now, but I got shot in my right leg. It’s getting better now – Jack’s taken really good care of me, but still, I don’t think I will take you to the dancing. How about we go to the cinema and have dinner later?

And then maybe… We will come to my home, or go to yours, and look for some apartments together? :) I really love that idea, Phil. I bet someone above knew what was waiting for me and that’s why I didn’t die out there. It was worse than my visions of fucking hell, Phil. I don’t know how these guys can be there for so long, making so much more than I did, and not freak out.

Also, I’m coming back around 30th April and I guess you know who I want to be the first person I see in England. :)

All yours

Dan.


	9. I wouldn’t survive that

XII

26th March

Dan!

Oh my God, I’m so glad you’re okay! I was such a mess, not knowing what was going on with you and I’m so freaking happy that you’re save now and, well, alive. I was so scared that I will never see you again, Dan, and I wouldn’t survive that, you know.

I can’t imagine what you must have seen and experienced, I’m so sorry that you had to go through it, but, on the other hand, I’m sure you saved many, many people and I’m so proud of you, Dan. You’re literally the best person I have in my life. I don’t even want to think what would happen if that shot… Nah, never mind. I guess you don’t want to talk about it, so let’s just move on.

Cinema and dinner sounds perfect to me. I really look forward to that! And I can’t wait for you to be back finally! I can’t believe there is only like a month left! So excited to see you again, to hug you and annoy you~ Of course I’ll be there for you. You won’t even see the land before you see me, Danny. I’ll torture the officer for one last time and get all of the information about your arrival. I guess he’ll be happy that you’re coming back too, as I’ll finally stop annoying him.

I think about you all the time and I'm waiting for you here, Danny.

All yours

Phil :)


	10. I can’t wait to see it in real again

XIII

9th April

Philly,

Three weeks and I’m home. Three weeks and I’m with you.

I almost can’t believe that it’s really happening. I know you’d yell at me but I just wait for something to go wrong. It really seems too good to be true. New soldiers arrived and I have one medic to take care of and show him around. He’s doing a lot of my job already so it should go down pretty smoothly from now on. I’m packing my stuff already. Can’t wait to leave this place.

I’m glad you liked our date idea. Book a table at that restaurant we went to for your mom’s birthday, okay? I think it was perfect for that occasion. Choose any day in May that is suitable for you. I guess your exams will be approaching then, so don’t worry if you don’t have the time :) I’ve waited for so long, a few weeks more won’t make a difference and you have to focus on your studies. I’m actually thinking about starting classes on my own in autumn, but I guess we will have much time to talk about it :)

Oh Phil, I miss you so fucking much. It seems like the closer I get to see you the more I miss you, how stupid is that? But I have your picture above my bed (you know, tickets aren’t that important on it) and I look at you so often and whenever I do it makes me smile.

I get lonely when I think about your smile.

I can’t wait to see it in real again.

See you soon!

Dan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! I can't believe it's finished! it seems like I was writing this story yesterday.   
> I know there's still one day left but I want to wish y'all Merry Christmas!   
> ~I'm not saying anything about New Year, cause there might be something special on that day~  
> Huge thanks to everybody who commented, here or in any other way, and left kudos! It really means a lot to me and inspire me to write more and more <3


End file.
